Saturday, July 23, 2011

Being in love changes things.

You notice colors, feelings, things, that hadn't been there before--or more likely they were, but you didn't know.

I can say that now, being in love, and living in the same world as before. Most dramatically, I live with my mother again (or, more appropriately, she with me). My father passed several years ago, and it has been the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. It was, it seemed, the hardest thing anyone would have to endure, losing a parent.

But, now that I've someone to love, and hold and care for, I can see things differently. I can see that my mother, here with me now, is only one half of who she was. She is me, but without her Peter. She is someone who loved and was loved, but is now alone. When I miss Peter, she misses my father, but with no hope of reuniting.

I write this not to make this a blog of sadness, but simply to share that my love for Peter has changed my worldview and my life. It's allowed me to be someone who has a more empathetic worldview that before, and who understands himself and others more. It's an ancillary bonus to being in love, but something for which I am grateful.

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